a dreamers optimism

at the start of my new life - aka out of college and into reality, i have been given the advice to dream as big as i can & to ask "whats next"? with this in mind, i'm now off to start looking for a future. yes, going back to school is a step which means the GRE, the resume writing, the CV, the transcripts, the applications, etc. etc. but before that i want to give my time to someone else. even after heartbreak and set backs, there is a true desire to keep from being stagnant. some may think that this optimism is silly or not realistic. but aren't the people who are crazy enough to believe in the ability to find new dreams the ones who we see making all the difference?

i am committed to continue searching, dreaming, and asking what is next.

words to the self. words to my peers.

a foreword before reading- these posts are usually to myself so that i can grow as i think and live out my life. but i offer them to the public so that they can think, too. thats all.

all these opinions, ideas, actions and mindsets floating above our young heads just makes me laugh. we are so young and yet so bold in our words about "the world" and "the future". we are all guilty of speaking without thinking.

obviously our world (in my case, America) is in this middle place of change. maybe we could even put us in the awkward Tween ages. the American Dream is slowly fading and this new age of independence is arising. while even though this transition is in fact occurring, the American Dream is still flailing about trying to grab any young person into its grasp and pleading with them to follow the "work hard to get the house with the picket fence" mentality. the youth are in a shift and we can clearly see that! people are marrying later in life. we are traveling to new places in the world. we're speaking up for what we see as an injustice. the perfect middle class lifestyle has lost its luster. and you know what? that is ok!! that is good!! change is good and we should welcome this into our lives.

through this time, i love seeing the various lifestyle routes people take. maybe you are a do-er. maybe you are a thinker. maybe your life is intertwined into the electronic world. maybe you need to get away from everything and go live on a self-sustainable farm. whatever it is, go do it. but please, i beg you - be gentle in your mindset or opinions that place bold statements that cover lifestyles which may not be your own. we are all trying to figure it out. we are all young. immature. inexperienced. rookies.

go out and speak life into what you think to be true. go boldly into the world that lures you into truth and challenge. but please, please, please - let us be gentle with the ones who may live differently.as a young generation we have many many challenges ahead of us. yes we are somewhat cynical and definitely critical, but this does not mean we need to give the stink eye to our fellow man.

question. ponder. spend time investing your thoughts into what can grow into something legitimate. but please also ask your heart soul and mind for a balance.

never take yourself too seriously

it was brought to my attention that my posts seem to contain topics of conflict & battle inside my heart and mind - even soul. then i realized that my blog is entitled "frivolous & fun". i sat and pondered that. i kind of laugh.

i find that even though my usual demeanor in social settings is silly, i still take the time to analyze & question whats going on around me. but, for shits and giggles lets take a moment and read some jokes.

Q: what did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you!

Q: what do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: a pork chop

Q: why did the stoplight turn red?
A: you would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

:):):):):):) hehehe.

also. did you know that there is a website that uploads pictures of bunnies every day? oh,you didnt???? here you go: http://dailybunny.org

AND here is a funny video (in my opinion):

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1936952

hello? goodbye? ok fine see you later

i dont think that its a cop out to take quotes and apply them to your life. so here i am, gracing all of you with yet another quote to explain my thoughts and life and see if it comes together to make some kind of sense.

...And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin

Anais Nin has been someone I have researched and looked in to since high school. Her view on life has challenged me and yet brought me closer to my own soul. As some would say, "I like that"! As the days dwindle down to a meager two remaining left in the little, historical town of Milledgeville, Georgia, I have to face the fact that my time here is done. As my heart aches with pangs of sadness, I also have to grip the excitement of a new kind of life in front of me.

This city has let me grow into a person I've wanted to become. It has challenged me. Angered me. Taught me. Frightened me. Comforted me. The list could go on and on. But now, it is time to go. As sad as I am that I am leaving friends who have helped me become who I am, I can't deny the truth that just like what Anais said, I have to take the risk to blossom.

So here I am. Hello to my new world. Goodbye to the old. And see you later to every one I love.

the fear

Sometimes, you have to reach really deep into the hidden places of your heart and find your piece of mind. Too often we cover up our hearts, minds, and emotions by fear and anxiety. You cover up your own unique abilities with self-conscious thoughts that say "you should just hold back" because clearly no one can be confident ALL the time. The fear creeps up on you and fills your lungs leaving you short of breath and at a loss for words.

I can't live like this. Self induced paralysis is the most preventable disease a human can keep out of their system. I read everywhere about "living in tension" because it causes your heart to fight for truth. It causes your mind to question, to observe, to rise above the temporary struggles.

Keep fighting! Keep searching! I find myself screaming this inside my head. I am responsible. Not just for myself but for the encouragement of others. So I really can't backdown now.

Even at the silliest times I take the words of Dory the fish in Finding Nemo, "just keep swiiiimming!" ha. Oh my tangents and childlike mind, it won't ever stop.

Maybe this blog is really just for me, but I'm sharing it to whoever comes across it.

simple question.

"My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Then why do my shoulders ache every day?