as an internal and external processor i seem to always be thinking through many different topics and then also speaking about them to others. i literally feel like my head is a heavy trafficked highway in the major cities of the world. information comes into my brain, zooms by, flicks off the ideas that slow it down, honks the horn and slowly processed emotions, and gives a "thank you wave" to the light bulb moments that carry clarity with them on their flatbeds. all of this passes through the synapses like the dashed yellow lines of the road, into the tunnel that is called my throat and out to the world through words and spoken curiosities...
i can't fight who i am. i can't block up my thoughts and keep them swirling around. the bumper to bumper realities in my corpus callosum tie together the realities of the dreams to the wishes to the fears to the confidence to the wonder to the harsh truths to everything.
i am sad. i am joyful. i am quiet. i am a chatterbox.
once again on the verge of saying goodbye - all i can really think about are the experiences i've shared and all i can do is spend time with the people who have been apart of that. i find myself in pain because i know that i have opened up my heart to something powerful, something real, something life changing and yet here i am - on the cusp of turning over a new leaf. taking all of my things and packing up yet again, just like the 20 weeks on the road of this past year of my life.
embracing the goodness. embracing the change. embracing the people who have been a huge part of it all. just trying to soak it all up for these last few moments.