the fall 2010 tour has finished. but i am not done.
the only thing that seems to remain in my heart and head at this time is the feeling after the party, after the race, after the finish line ribbon has been broken. you know, when you look around and the confetti is rustling on the ground and there are smiles everywhere and people are looking into each other's eyes? that is how it is for me right now.
there's happiness and yet extreme exhaustion. we have worked so hard and now it's over. how are we finished? how have we done all of this and yet it feels like we got here yesterday? crazy. i don't know what my emotions say. if i choose to be vulnerable with you, i will tell you that there have been a lot of tears since i left san diego. its a mixture, actually. i don't know what just happened, i miss everyone there, seeing my friends from home makes my heart explode in happiness, & hugging my parents after a five month excursion. its all nuts.
i'm tired. i am quiet. i don't really know what to do with myself. i don't exactly know how to explain what all just happened.
right now my heart is kind of a jumble but i will tell you what i do know right now:
1. there is beauty in stability and there is beauty in change