Rest In Peace

Miller Nuesse is the first close friend of mine to pass away. This is a tough loss not just for me, but for my whole family back at GCSU. A lot of times while I'm out on the road with Invisible Children, I'll start to cry and wish I could sit with my friends and hug them. The other night I was talking to a girl and I almost couldn't hold it together. The beauty of friendship is that our hearts are tied to people no matter where they are. I hope that this pain and openness can connect to the people I meet. That is my one hope. Miller's story is not meant to be hidden. Maybe this pain we're all going through will make connections to people we never imagined. Through this I can say that I don't understand death, but I know that it is a part of the human life. I know that Miller is in Heaven and he is happier there. And his story is not over.

If anyone reads this, I hope you know that Miller was one of the best guys I knew. Even during our college years when the idea is to play hard and do what you want, Miller loved to give instead of receive. He was always smiling, happy, laughing, and talking in different accents. I know that his death is for a purpose greater than what we can see right now. And even though I'm crying as I type this, I am happy that he is finally home. I'm learning that it's ok to cry. It's ok to be sad that you lost your friend. It's ok to wish he was still here. Ultimately, I hope that through this death, someone else will see the love of Jesus like Miller did, and they too will always find a way to laugh, smile, give, and bring joy to the people around them.

This is tough. I am sad. But I know everything will be good. Thank you Miller -- for being a kind heart, a courageous guy, a joyful individual, and for sharing your life with me. The beauty of a friendship is knowing that when they leave your life for any reason, they still stay with you. I carry your heart with me, my friend. And I hope that I can be an obvious light of joy for the people around me just like you were.

I have heard of death bringing life to others in the world. Yet again we see that happen with Miller's life. By donating his organs, he was able to save the lives of eight people who wouldn't have had the chance before. During this time I think that Miller's life is a lot like the life that inspired the song "How He Loves Us" check out the story behind John Mark McMillan's song and what he has to say about dealing with pain and tragedy and what the Lord wants us to know through it all: How He Loves Us: A Story

Also, check out what the Atlanta Journal Constitution said about his life: In Memory of Miller

No turning back

There have been numerous breathtaking moments in the short few days we have been on the road. Driving up the 101 all along the northern California coast blew my mind. Mountains, redwood trees, and the rocky coast line made my jaw drop and my eyes well up with tears because of the beauty. If you have ever seen the movie Into The Wild there is a part in it when Chris is running in a field with wild elk (maybe moose?) and he finally just stands there watching them with tears in his eyes. I don’t know if you’ve experienced such a moment like that in nature, but I have felt exactly like Chris McCandless does at that time. Just today we were able to stop by Crater Lake on the way to Boise, ID. Wow. That’s all I can really say. I could have weeped because of the beauty here. What used to be a volcano is now a beautiful blue lake in the midst f mountain ranges.

Here are some photos:

Golden Gate Bridge

Northern California Coast

Sunrise in Oregon

Crater Lake 

Meeting people from all over the country has been an interesting aspect of tour. Medford, OR has some of the most kind hearted souls I’ve ever met. The people in this town have built homes for kids in Uganda, and have a group of teenagers who commit to a two year plan to learn all about Eastern Africa and its history. I’m shocked by how there are youth who take their own initiative and make change. Each day I meet young and old people who are aching for an outlet to use their talents and luckily we’re able to share a way to change the world with them.

Constantly being on a team of 6 is a hard job to do. Stuy and I talked about the difficulties of doing something amazing. In the (somewhat paraphrased) words of Mr. Lewis himself: “The most rad things are usually the most difficult. It’s a lot easier to just do the normal every day. Its also hard to help people understand that rad things are awesome enough to fight through the difficult parts”. In his own Stuy vernacular he has shared exactly what I believe to be true as well.

It seems like the most incredible adventures bring about the most struggle.I've already seen where I could change my mindsets and perspectives about situations. Looking out for others before your self is tough to do but its worth the effort. Waking up every morning asking myself how to see the need in my teammates is something that will make a difference in the long run and is a continual process to learn. 

I'm learning patience and servant hood and its hard, but maybe the beauty seen in between the learning is the encouragement to say there is goodness all around you and in you and through you if you just open yourself up to truth and discipline. 

this does not belong to you

Last night, a bunch of roadies, interns, and staff members all joined together to celebrate the launch of yet another tour for Invisible Children. After our meals were eaten & our desserts enjoyed, we sat & listened to Jason Russel, Jolly Okot & Ben Keesey - 3 of the leaders of IC.

Jason read us a snippet of the book "The Vision" about youth fighting for something bigger than themselves - almost a discharge into the unknown. We are all about to embark on a journey that will bring us to higher places, lower wells & deeper knowledge. In this we will fight for truth when fatigue tells us that we are fake. We will seek justice when weariness tells us to cut corners.

I do not know where my life will go from here. I don't know what I'll learn through all of this. I don't know what struggles I'll face & eventually overcome - but I do know that the people of Northern Ugandan will be spoken for by not just us westerners, but their own brothers & sisters & friends. I do not go on this journey to advocate my life, but I go for my friends in Africa who have faced struggles, hardships, terror, pain & suffering. Through this work that all of us roadies do, we will all find joy, triumph, happiness, wisdom, and love. And unlike the former, these things are permanent.

Friends - help me to remember this: "servanthood is the place where you find most joy. With every accolade & compliment you receive - kneel down before God everyday & give them to him. Because they do not belong to you. They belong to the orphans, the widows, and to Jesus."

More to come...

resolve

mount soledad is the most beautiful view in San Diego.

realizations:
conflict resolution is key to success in group settings.
love is seen best in servant-hood.
honesty will bring you to a farther place of trust.
the human brain is capable of so much more activity than we usually make it.

california really does look the movies - palm trees, surfers you name it.
Invisible Children supports justin beiber: Beiber fever
there is always an opportunity to see joy in the world.

more to come...

dream world

i now live with 60+ incredible people in southern california. each day we learn about the programs involved with Invisible Children & prepare for life on the road. in 2 weeks two ugandans will join us in the office and on the road to share their stories involving the war.

its hard to describe exactly what i'm doing everyday. it includes tons of learning and tons of studying. being around tons of young people who are driven by the desire to live for something greater than themselves. each individual has their own story of realization that we can give back and inspire others to go after the dreams in their hearts. not only do they desire to live for something greater, they also have already experienced amazing things. traveling to other continents, lobbying for the IC bill to pass, sleeping outside the Oklahoma goverment building, teaching in other countries - I am no doubt around some of the most epic & determined individuals i've ever met. theres no doubt in my mind that i'm around future world changers.

i can only thank God for giving me this opportunity. i am determined to work as hard as i can. i'll continue to update you on my life.

i love you all.

Shocked

Surprise cannot articulate my feelings right now. One moment can change your life completely & that moment happened to me last night at 845pm. As of now, I am a Roadie for Invisible Children. This time tomorrow, I'll be in San Diego, California to do what might be one of the most significant moments in my life and in the lives of people in Uganda. Lets end this war.

www.invisiblechildren.com
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/theMovement/National_Tour

what is the word that is beating in your heart?

tried to take a break from over thinking all the time. instead i just lived life and did exactly what was in front of me. reading books helps me get away from the thoughts in my head and into another place where my life is not really that big of a deal.

one book is "eat pray love" by elizabeth gilbert. granted, i have read this book before but this time around is more valuable i think. this time i can relate to her more than before. like the author, i am in a place of drastic change, uncertainty about my life, my personal self and where i will go each day. my path is quite dark and unknown and i dont think that there is an error in this fact. it is just the way my life is for now. and i have accepted that.

one part that stuck out to me is when gilbert has a conversation with her friend about the one word that defines people or places. in the book, Rome (where gilbert is currently residing) is defined by the word "Sex" - it is what runs the town, runs the people and oozes from every pore this Italian city holds. for new york, gilbert says it is "succeed" and for her own self she says she'll figure out what word she is at the end of her year long journey.

it got me thinking about what word would describe me right now. i thought about "laugh" - uh no not all encompassing, "adjustment" - ehhhhh nope, "seek" - doesn't quite hit the spot. and then it came to me like a light bulb turning on...

Desire.

most people correlate this to sexual needs but that is not the route i'm taking here. no no im talking the definition of the word itself - free from any connections. a longing for something. a need in all aspects of life. discontent until there is a change. when i see the word discontent i wonder if there is anything wrong with that. this place i'm in is not where i'd ideally be if everyone got to live in a world of rainbows and butterflies but here i am and this is where i'll be. i desire truth. i desire friendships. i desire depth in my walk of life. i desire more challenge. and yet i desire comfort. socially, emotionally, and mentally i have desire written across my eyelids and entangled in my heart.

and thats all i can really elaborate for now.